Americans, amid an epidemic of loneliness, are having less sex than ever before. Studies show that in almost every demographic group, older or younger Americans, single and married, rich and poor, are having less sex than at any other time in at least the last three decades.
Sex is not the only way to satisfy human interaction and certainly not a solution to loneliness. Still, it is a critical part of social well-being. However, more than a quarter of Americans did not have sex even once in 2021, according to the General Social Survey conducted that year. It was the highest level of asexuality in the survey’s history.
This number includes nearly 30% of men under 30, a figure that has tripled since 2008. In the 1990s, about half of Americans had sex weekly or more – that number is now below 40%. For many who are having sex, the frequency has plummeted. And it’s not just sex: partnership and cohabitation have also decreased. Less time spent with friends and lovers are symptoms of the same cultural malaise, an isolation that may be affecting Americans’ social lives, love lives, and happiness.
The decline of sex is accompanied by an increase in loneliness
Estimates vary, but between one-third and two-thirds of Americans report feeling lonely.
Loneliness is a challenging phenomenon for researchers to quantify, but there are revealing signs – and they point to a society that is walking alone. The number of Americans reporting having no close friends has quadrupled since 1990, according to a study by the Survey Center on American Life. An average American in 2021 spent 58% less time with friends than in 2013, according to the Census Bureau.
What is behind this loneliness?
Covid-19 contributed to the rise of loneliness and the decline of sex, but it is only partially responsible. Between 2014 and 2019, the decrease in time people spend with friends was greater than during the pandemic.
Evidence points to the fact that there are likely many factors happening at the same time.
One of those factors is time. People are increasingly busy because they are spending more time at work. The truth is that many people simply do not have enough free time to connect with others.
There are also many other interesting demands that did not exist three decades ago. There was no Netflix, video games, or streaming for people to entertain themselves alone.
Technology, in fact, is a factor. In theory, it should connect people socially. How many times have you been to a restaurant and seen people not talking to those at their tables because they were looking at their phones? We are increasingly connecting through technology, but is this not diminishing real-life connections?
Another important factor is economic. Young people are leaving their parents’ homes or deciding to face a life together later because comparatively the cost of living is much higher today than it was in their parents’ time.
In short, the current social loneliness – and perhaps the lack of sex – is undoubtedly the result of social and cultural changes that have profoundly marked society, especially at the beginning of the 21st century.
Source: The New York Times