Emotions are like an internal compass. They guide us and, most of the time, push us to take some action (although not always — fear, for example, can be paralyzing).
So, what happens when we let our emotions take complete control? The most likely outcome is that we react excessively, which can affect our self-esteem and self-confidence.
Achieving emotional balance is a process that requires practice and training. Imagine having to ride a roller coaster every day to feel motivated and free of emotional baggage. Emotional intensity may feel good in the moment, but the ups and downs can leave you exhausted by the end of the day. This emotional roller coaster will also likely make you feel disoriented and question your life plans.
Why do your emotions overwhelm you?
Do you need to express your emotions intensely to feel alive? Emotional outbursts are often associated with drama or exaggeration, but that’s not always the case. You may need to feel and express your emotions intensely because that’s your way of showing how you feel, and/or you don’t know how to do it differently.
Emotional intensity is also common in highly sensitive people who are empathetic and have the ability to put themselves in others’ shoes. People who are deeply affected by everything may feel guilty or be very hard on themselves. It’s not easy to manage being overwhelmed by emotions all the time.
Emotions come and go in waves
Emotions are like waves that come and go, and it’s important not to let the tide carry you away. Try to find the healthiest way to express your emotions so they don’t drown you.
Breathing is the key to changing your emotions
Breathing is the pillar that supports all our emotions. The way we breathe determines the intensity of our emotions. It can even determine which feelings prevail over others.
For example, if you take short, shallow breaths, it can generate anxiety, discomfort, or anger. On the other hand, if you can pause your breath and focus on exhaling more air than you inhale through your nose, you will feel calmer.
Learning to breathe when your emotions become overwhelming
If you want to learn to breathe through your intense emotions, you first have to do the following:
• Identify physical sensations — Notice if you feel a lump in your throat, a tightness in your stomach, or a tingling in your back…
• Identify the basic emotion causing the physical sensation — Naming what’s happening to you can help give meaning to your experience.
• Breathe into your emotion and express it — Allow yourself the space to feel your emotion. By simply breathing, you are already dealing with your emotions in a different way.
“Instead of letting frustration build up, eventually exploding and taking it out on others, allow yourself to cool down. Then you can find a better way to express what you feel.”
A practical exercise to work with breathing and emotions
Exhalation (breathing slowly out) is associated with relaxation.
On the other hand, inhalation (breathing in) is associated with stress and anxiety. Learning to breathe calmly requires daily practice.
We can break this practice down into five steps:
• Breathe normally through your nose with your mouth closed.
• Exhale slowly through your nose with your mouth closed.
• As you exhale, silently and slowly repeat the word “calm” or “relaxed” (or any other word you find relaxing).
• Count slowly to four and then inhale again.
• Practice this exercise several times a day, taking 10 to 15 breaths each time.
The more you practice your breathing, the easier it will be to manage your emotions. You will be able to avoid feeling overwhelmed or dominated by your feelings.
Source: Adrana Reyes Zendrera