Some mistakenly think that confidence is something you either have or don’t have. This is not true. Each of us can build and increase confidence. Even if you feel insecure and lacking in self-confidence, it is possible to work on yourself to acquire it. In fact, you have unlimited and unknown potential within yourself. Access your inner confidence with these six techniques.
Develop Awareness of Your Soul
Your soul is absolutely secure and full of self-esteem. But life in this insecure world – experiences that hurt us – can hide and disconnect you from your soul and your inherent confidence, leaving you fearful and threatened in a hostile world. To access your secure soul, you need to connect to the soul; be aware of it. The deeper your awareness, the deeper your confidence will manifest. You must become secure within yourself. For this, you need to have a relationship with your soul. By connecting with it – through study, prayers, and good deeds – you can gather energy from the soul’s inherent confidence.
Change Your Routines
Sometimes, when we cannot access the internal resources that lie beneath the surface, we need to scrape away the external crusts that hide the internal energy. Psychologically, this is called behavioral change: external change brings internal change. Change your routines, and this, in turn, will change your anchors. Change generates change. Change your habits.
Fake It Until You Make It
One way to create this change is to “fake it” – to project and believe in the possibility even when you don’t feel like it. Act confidently even when you don’t feel that way. You are not being a liar; you are transcending how you feel and overcoming your limiting beliefs, which in turn releases your inner strengths.
Seek Support
The support of people around you is also an important factor in gaining confidence. Since early childhood, the support we receive from our parents (and also the lack of it) directly affects our level of self-confidence. When a child is recognized and encouraged, assured and praised, they build courage and learn to trust themselves. As the child explores their surroundings, notice how they seek affirmation from parents and adults. Even if your childhood resulted in a lack of confidence, there is always hope. Find friends and mentors who are equipped to help you make your unique contribution to the world.
Surround Yourself with Confident People
Another powerful way to build behavioral self-confidence is to be around confident people. Confidence is contagious. Spending time with secure people will always nurture the inner confidence of your soul, just as being with insecure people will always feed your insecurities.
Make Others Feel Confident
It’s a mirrored image: confidence breeds confidence; security feeds security. You generally make others feel the same way you are; you project what you are and are what you project. Confident and secure people make others feel that way too. Just as insecure people make others feel insecure. Help others feel confident, and this, in turn, will bring you greater confidence.
Exercise: Identify an area of your life where you lack confidence. Try to implement the six methods described in this article.
Source: pt.chabad.org, Simon Jacobson