Among the things that intrigue me, tattoos have always played a prominent role. Not so much for the designs or sayings themselves, but much more for the desire or courage to embrace such a lasting mark.
People get tattooed to express love, hate, belief, disbelief, pure exhibitionism, and even to compensate for shyness in gestures or words. Tattoos are not explained by themselves; there is always a reason or prior inducement.
No matter how much pleasure or regret some may bring, one thing is certain: the person fulfilled a desire, whether in a discreet and tiny flower petal or in a huge and questionable monster of the dark. I believe everyone has their taste and the right to realize it.
I didn’t start thinking about tattoos during a rock concert, a motorcycle rally, or a report about prisoners, although the latter word is directly related to the issue. I thought about tattoos while following the continuous suffering of people who cannot free themselves from certain marks of the past. Symbols that are often the result of situations they had no way to avoid. Tattoos that were not desired.
Often, these scenarios arise from specific organic factors such as height, skin marks, and physical weaknesses, whether congenital or acquired; but most of the time, failure ends up being the biggest wound.
The feeling of inferiority seems natural when we refer to discriminated or even assaulted children in their homes or institutions, yet it is increasingly common to find people overcoming precisely because of these sufferings. Everyday heroes who do not need to reveal themselves, as they have become accustomed to savoring and feeling the taste of victories, daily and alone.
Inferiority is generated and maintained by the fear of the next failure. People remain in constant anxiety, that is, they live in fear of future fears, and in this way, they store and lose themselves in a complex process of retention and control of functionless energies. They suffer in advance, solving neither future disturbances nor present problems, resulting in having to endure their own existence filled with guilt, which most of the time, were assumed unnecessarily.
Assuming unreal guilt may be the most sadistic and subtle method of suicide. The person begins by admiring the simple way others live and believes that their suffering is merely the result of their own incompetence or ignorance. As a rule, the process of somatization begins, where the body expresses suffering through various symptoms such as: excessive sweating, tachycardia, vomiting, headaches, muscle pain, respiratory difficulties, etc…
As we all know, it is not enough to just treat the symptoms; it is necessary to find the causes and destroy them, or learn to live with them. Any doctor recognizes that it is easier and more effective to treat an exposed wound than a disease with mild and unexpected symptoms, as in the first case we have the possibility of removing the problem with perhaps a painful but objective action. In the second, while seeking to understand a complex diagnosis, there is a risk of the process spreading and killing the body.
It is necessary to rethink and redistribute the guilt of our history.
I do not mean to judge the world and position oneself as a victim, as that would indeed be a cowardly and aimless attitude. Distributing guilt is observing how much the mistakes, whether intentional or innocent, of our parents, friends, teachers, bosses, and others can be the reasons for what weakens us. The very excess of care and love often suffocates us, and from them, we become dependent on achieving them externally, not believing in our ability to produce them.
More and more, people are allowing themselves to be marked by unwanted symbols or tattoos: even denying themselves the right to think of freedom, relief, and pleasure. People marked by failures in childhood, in marriage, by comparisons with siblings or cousins, always more beautiful or intelligent, by unnecessary nicknames, by “never-overcomable” shames, or by “unforgivable sins,” see themselves merely as remnants of a machine, when in fact they are essential pieces to the mechanism.
People who undervalue themselves do not realize the good they can do, and the absence they represent for others. Knowing the tattoos is not enough to get rid of them, but it is the first step in the search for self-knowledge.
More interesting than removing these wounds, I believe it is necessary to change the focus on problems. Recognizing the meaning of the marks and using them as experiences that should not be repeated, and much less ignored.
Never doubt the pleasure we feel when, by reusing old furniture, we manage to generate new and stimulating environments to live in.
GUILHERME DAVOLI
Psychologist, psychotherapist, professor, business and educational consultant, speaker, and writer.
www.guilhermedavoli.com.br