Many people dream of a true transformation in their lives, but they want it to happen like this: snap and done, they become other people, more confident, successful, prosperous, and happy!
In real life, this doesn’t happen. No matter how positive and necessary they are, changes tend to be so exhausting that, even wanting to change, some people hesitate and try to continue their lives in the same old way.
Regarding changes, the more conservative or fearful would say: “It’s the wisest thing!” or “Better not to trade the certain for the uncertain.” Yes, the process scares many people. It involves a physical fear, as it requires an adaptation of our nervous system
leaving the “comfort zone,” seeking new paths to connect the emotional and rational areas of the brain.
Things don’t always happen as we plan. There comes a moment when it is essential to break free from inertia and implement changes that don’t necessarily need to be gigantic or immediate, but can be very simple. However, when dissatisfaction arises, people, instead of considering the possibility of change, tend to adopt a victim mentality and blame everything and everyone for their feelings. Instead of assigning blame, reflect on your attitudes and choices in life and assess whether your decisions align with your values and life purpose. Changing some behavioral patterns, such as lack of self-love, feelings of guilt, and low self-esteem, can make a significant difference, even sparking the awakening of a new self.
In general, people have a very predictable reaction when faced with the need for change and tend to act within a cycle known as the “Cycle of Grief,” which includes: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, acceptance, and performance. Let’s see how it develops:
• The first reaction to the need for change is a true “shock.” The person becomes numb, unable to accept that they will have to change their patterns, so deeply rooted in their way of life.
• After the initial “shock,” comes the phase of “denial,” when the person tries to convince themselves that they don’t need to succumb to change and can continue their life exactly as they have been doing until now.
Upon realizing that change is truly necessary, the person goes through a stage of “anger,” as they have not yet been able to assimilate all aspects of the change nor accept having to let go of their current patterns.
Next, they enter the “bargaining” phase and try to negotiate the possibility of keeping some things while accepting other aspects of the change.
Realizing that change is inevitable and that they will need to abandon the patterns blocking their productivity brings about a feeling of “sadness.”
Finally, after overcoming sadness, it’s time to contemplate a state of fullness and productivity. It’s the phase of “acceptance and performance,” where, finally, the change is implemented, and the person realizes how choosing change can benefit them… until the next change!
It’s incredible to think that we go through all these stages even when change represents something positive and desired. Keep in mind that you have the freedom and the right to make choices that can make your life better and happier, just as you have the power to let go of what brings you pain, sadness, and unhappiness. In other words, change is within your reach, always.
Good luck!