When you manipulate, you steer the negotiation towards a win-lose game. You come prepared to win, at any cost. Naturally, for that to happen, the other party must lose.
It is unfortunate to realize that this type of game is still the most practiced in all kinds of negotiations.
We are always negotiating
Even without having a professional activity linked to the business sector, we are negotiating all the time, in various situations. The process is so natural that, most of the time, we don’t even notice it, as it is an inherent skill of being human. We negotiate in the family, at work, with our friends, when we go to buy something, etc. In short, whenever we want to obtain something from someone, we establish a negotiation process.
People who manipulate tend to consider themselves very clever. Within their perception that there isn’t enough for everyone in the world, they try to get as much as they can. But they forget, or perhaps they don’t even know, that in the long run, the spell can turn against the sorcerer.
On the other hand, when you exercise influence, you show that you are interested in negotiating cooperatively, identifying the real interests involved in the process. It is necessary, then, to bring to light the needs, objectives, and desires of those involved so that the outcome of the negotiation provides mutual benefits.
Negotiation and Communication
A good communication is fundamental for a successful negotiation. Communication occurs on three levels:
• Mouth-ear: One speaks and the other listens, but does not hear, and therefore, nothing happens.
• Brain-brain: The interlocutors think about what they say and what they hear, thus, communication becomes effective and things start to happen.
• Heart-heart: Empathy is established and the miracles of communication happen.
These levels of communication relate in an interdependent and cumulative way: level 1 is a basic condition to reach level 2, which in turn creates the conditions to achieve level 3, and all are maintained throughout the process. Naturally, the best negotiations happen when developed at the level 3 of communication: heart-heart.
Who to Negotiate With
It is very important to ensure that you are speaking with someone who has decision-making power to assume the terms of a negotiation. When you talk to the wrong person, you are wasting time and, in many cases, you will need to make more concessions to the other party.
Imagine closing a sale after negotiating and making all possible concessions to meet your needs and those of the client. When everything seems satisfactory for both, your interlocutor says they will pass the proposal to their boss, who will contact you for the final decision. However, when the person gets in touch, they do not just want to finalize what was previously discussed: they want to obtain better conditions than before, either for commercial interest or just to show that they negotiate better than their employee.
It is because of negotiations with the wrong person that about 20% of initiated negotiations do not materialize.
So, if you cannot avoid having part of the negotiation go through an intermediary, do not make all the concessions initially: reserve some for the second half of the game.DR. LAIR RIBEIRO
Cardiologist, speaker
www.lairribeiro.com.br
lrsintonia@terra.com.br