The doubt when it comes to choosing a professional career is not just the privilege of students on the eve of entrance exams.
Unfortunately, it is becoming increasingly common to encounter “mid-career adults” who are dissatisfied with their past choices, feeling trapped by their diplomas, questioning themselves and wanting to change the course of their professional lives, but with a great fear of criticism from family and friends or even of new regret.
If in a recent past following a profession was a decision without major conflicts, to the point that many would start and retire at the same company, the speed of social changes, with new demands and alternatives, has led to a clear increase in the fear of making mistakes with each decision. The feeling of helplessness in the face of an “obligatory success” is always terrifying.
In general, this happens because our choices tend to be made based on untested information and under a shower of opinions that deserve to be heard, as long as they do not oppress with phrases like “Look… You’re going to end up proving me right…”.
In this context, from a young person preparing for entrance exams to a successful yet insatiable experienced professional, everyone suffers. It’s as if every morning we have to have the right answer to the question that the day holds for us.
Strange, but we are learning, the hard way, that having a lot of information does not guarantee peace of mind; it only suffocates us. What is truly necessary is the exercise of maturity resulting from listening, experiencing, and filtering the pros and cons of each situation to then make decisions, never forgetting that certainty has never been or will be available.
A student can only choose a profession if they know that career “in loco” just as a businessman will only be able to pivot in their career after surrounding themselves with tangible data about the path they intend to venture into.
Two truths that seem clear to me are that no one was born to be “this or that” and that intelligence is the ability to solve problems when and how they appear.
We are born with a set of competencies that are awakened by the opportunities or needs of everyday life.
Due to this lack of maturity, a large part of students continues to make their professional choices based on criteria such as: courses that would lead to better remuneration, the status of university A or B, family and/or friends’ influence, physical proximity to the educational institution, the easiest course to pass, the cheapest institution, in short, no choice made with reflection and awareness, while many professionals spend a large part of their time pondering how to reach the next point of success, before the dreaded competitors.
On the other hand, we also notice that many other people even know what they want for themselves, but out of fear, insecurity, or even some difficulties, end up postponing their choices and new directions, thus sabotaging their potential.
The fear of making mistakes creates and feeds the habit of procrastination.
We must always be attentive to the signs to realize when a difficulty reveals itself and face it with discernment.
In this sense, it is common to observe that when we start to realize that we did not make the best choice because we feel disappointed, we often outsource responsibilities, pointing to a culprit (the family, the school, or (when already a professional) the company, the boss, the salary), adopting attitudes of “inconvenient people who only complain”.
The set of all these feelings of frustration can then harm us in aspects that are physical, social, psychological… we implode.
It is no coincidence that psychosomatic diseases are increasing every day, and insecurity in the face of choice has presented itself as one of its greatest roots.
In one of his speeches, Professor Mario Sérgio Cortella says that the best path, (under the premise that every professional who truly strives and seeks to qualify is capable of achieving success, whatever the field they pursue), is to remember that:
“Career is not just a job. It is also, and needs to be, a territory of work. A job is a source of income and work is a source of life.
It is necessary to choose a profession in which the focus on income does not obscure the source of life, not forgetting that the source of life needs income to sustain itself.”
GUILHERME DAVOLI
Psychologist, psychotherapist, professor, business and educational consultant, speaker, and writer.
www.guilhermedavoli.com.br